Grown Up Tantrums

Have you ever thrown a tantrum? As an adult? Until recently, I would have answered no. But something was going on with me that I couldn't explain and it occurred to me that maybe a tantrum wasn't a bad name for it.

What is a tantrum? By most definitions it is a fit of bad temper. And by some it is abrupt and violent. Ok, not much violence going on with me (thankfully :). But I have had a bad mood of sorts stewing about something and a grand resistance to doing anything about it for going on three months.

So what is this fit about? Well, for me, right now it is about my weight. My WEIGHT? Did we hear that right? My WEIGHT? What? I'm a health counselor. I'm supposed to have this all together, right?

I'd like to share something I have learned in a very personal way recently. When something in your life is out of balance, it frequently shows itself most clearly in your weakest link. For me, the area to always show a lack of balance first is my weight.

It didn't take me long to notice the extra five pounds. What took me a few months to really understand was my lack of motivation to really do something about it. Until I realized that my imbalance was precisely in the area of "doing". As in, doing too much. So, naturally my reaction to this imbalance was to simply do nothing about it. Unfortunately, that did not make my weight magically readjust itself back to normal (what is normal, anyway?).

So back to my "tantrum". I have really been having a silent "fit" of sorts against the imbalance I brought on by adding so much to my plate in the past year. The fit has manifested itself in too much ice cream and too little exercise (hence the five pounds) but that is just the downside. The upside is that my need to slow down has also resulted in endless hours of delicious time with my kids and a re-discovered love affair with mommy-hood. Hurray. Also, the kids don't notice the weight. Gotta love them.

Now that I have a clearer understanding of what has been happening with me (thanks to a lot of long talks with my fellow health counselor buddies), I feel a lot more loving towards my self about it and I can really see the need and the benefits for my grown up tantrum.

So I leave you with this thought to consider for yourself- What is your weakest link and how can your honor your own resistance to "fixing it" by recognizing how it might be serving your best interests?