Turning 40...Happy Birthday to Me!

No one could have been more surprised by this surprise party than me. When told by my husband that there would not be any kind of diversionary tactics that would have led to my being appropriately dressed for the occasion, my cousin is reported to have responded "She is going to divorce you."

But his devotion to the element of surprise was not to be dissuaded. So...here I am unshowered and completely shocked when friends began arriving at my door. As you can see from the picture, many bottles of wine arrived with the guests and I suppose this quickly softened the shock of being discovered disheveled and completely unprepared. I loved it.

I also love these birthdays that end in zero. There is something about marking a new decade of life that seems to call for a look back at what the past ten years have meant and a look forward towards what the next ten could hold. That kind of reflection generally causes me to turn my focus inward and I had intended for the celebration of my 40th birthday to be a fairly private event with time for some journal writing and quiet moments alone and a little snuggle on the couch with my husband and kids. Alas, life (and my husband!) had other plans and the surprise party was just one of several occasions over the course of more than a week that were filled with friends, family, food and, yes, wine!

I took this turn of events to signal a sort of opening up of my heart and my life to mark the beginning of this new decade as a time that will include bigger events and broader horizons than I had originally imagined. And being thrown into a party looking like I just woke up...well...I had always hoped that by the time I was 40 I really wouldn't care too much about that kind of thing anymore and...well, I cared. But not nearly as much as I would have at 30 which I feel pretty darn great about actually. Happy Birthday to me!

Surging vs. Dwelling

I've been hiding. Hiding from holding myself accountable. To new goals. To endless lists. To my own health counselor. To my health counselor buddies who find me anyways.

Being a self-admitted over-achiever, this hiding out has been a welcome break from my usual approach of throwing my hand up and volunteering to be held accountable for whatever I am planning to be my next big giant goal.


In his blog post "What Consumers Do in a Downtown", Grant McCracken, an anthropologist affiliated with MIT, describes two modalities of consumer behavior. In a surging mentality, the world "teems with new features, new things, new opportunities, new excitement." In a dwelling mentality the consumer is focused not on the future but on the present, we "stop anticipating and start savoring."

So maybe I haven't been hiding so much as dwelling. But it has nothing to do with the economy.

Reality Check

Somewhere around May I got a wake up call that sent me running into my hide-out (aka my home) for a much needed breather and a long session of introspection that has focused largely on my role as a mom.

On Mother's Day week, my children's preschool held a tea for the Moms. My daughter's teacher created a project for the kids to list three things that their mom liked to do. The lists were decorated and posted on a wall and all of us Moms had to "find ourselves" on the wall.

I knew right away that I wasn't the mom who liked to: Eat Cheeseburgers and Swim Underwater. But when I started reading about the moms who liked to "read with me", "pick flowers with me", and "watch me ride my bike", I started getting a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

And then I saw it. A beautiful pink sheet covered in silk flowers that I recognized immediately:

My Mom Likes to:

Work

Drink Tea

Eat Granola

And there I was. I wanted to cry. No where on my four year old daughter's list was any mention of what I liked to do that involved her.

But she was amazingly accurate. Our lives had changed last year as I went to school and created a new career. And just when I was starting to feel that the transition was becoming too much for all of us, she felt it too.

In one swift moment, I knew our lives would need to change again. This was not the mom I intended to be. This was not the life I had meant for us to have.

So I have been hiding. At home. With my family. Hiding from all my lists of life goals and personal ambitions while I regroup as a woman and a mom.

It has been beautiful and painful all at once. And I am beginning to see how I am now ready to emerge into the next stage of my life with a new perspective on accountablity and self-care.

And a new vision for what my "unpredictable future" can be.

More soon on what that all means...

Halloween

Have you started wishing they'd invent a candy-free Halloween or are you already sneaking into the stash you've got on hand for trick or treaters?

Fortunately for me, we take our kids trick or treating in my brothers neighborhood so I can avoid buying the candy since we won't be home to hand it out. (This, I think, is kind of preferable to being the weird lady who hands out raisins or stickers- something I admit I've considered doing). But just because I am not buying the candy myself doesn't mean it isn't getting into my kids hands...

So what is Halloween like when your mom is a health counselor? Actually it is not as scary as you might think!

I have a Halloween strategy that we all can live with. Basically, I let the kids eat a bunch of stuff from their trick or treat baskets. They come home, we sit together and spread it out on the kitchen floor and they have at it. Interestingly, there is only so much candy you can eat in a half hour or so. Usually it is just enough to start to feel sick. And that, is kind of the point.

I look at it this way- this is a teaching moment. Seriously. Sure I would love it if my kids turned up their noses at most of the scary stuff that arrives home in those pumpkins but, to them it mostly seems like great fun. So they try it (and honestly a lot of it they don't like) and then they usually feel gross and we talk about why.

And then? We throw it all out. No arguments. That is just the rule. They have their fun and then it is over and we declare the following day a "vegetable day" (kind of kidding... but not really).

Of course, I can't seem too okay with this. The kids know I think it is a bad idea to eat this much candy and I throw in a few comments as we're rummaging through the goods like, "Oh, yuck, Mommy doesn't like this one, it has fake colors. That's like eating a magic marker."

In the end, Halloween fun is had by all and it's over before the witches go home. Next day- vegetables all day!

Butternut Squash Soup

This is one of our family favorites. My mom has been making it for years on Thanksgiving but these days we make it throughout the fall and winter just because it so yummy and so simple and quick!

Butternut Squash Soup

(as always use organic ingredients whenever possible)

2 lbs chopped, peeled butternut squash (feel free to buy it chopped and peeled to make it even easier!)

1 yellow onion, chopped

2 tbsp olive oil

12 whole raw almonds

1 apple, chopped (granny smith is good, but any kind will do)

1 tsp curry powder

½ tsp of ground marjoram

½ cup white wine

4-5 cups chicken broth (you won’t need to add salt if you use regular salted chicken broth)- my favorite is Pacific Foods Free Range Organic

· Heat the oil in a large soup pot

· Sauté the onions until they are really soft and translucent

· Add the squash, apple, almonds, curry and marjoram to the onions and stir well

· Add in the wine then add the chicken broth until it just barely covers the other ingredients

· Bring to a boil, reduce heat to medium and cook until squash is tender (about 20 minutes)

· Use an immersion blender to blend all the ingredients into a creamy soup (you can also use a food processor or blender but the immersion blender makes this job super easy and neat).

Enjoy!

NOT a Sweet Surprise

Have you seen the new commercial claiming that High Fructose Syrup is "all natural" and "no worse for you than sugar"?

You can see the video here.

The Corn Refiners Association has spent $30M on this campaign to boost the reputation of High Fructose Corn Syrup (HFCS).

Of course, you recognize that these commercials are an outrage. Based on those commercials, we should all be drinking other corn-based products, such as ethanol.

The Corn Refiner's Association doesn't want you to know that HFCS may be linked to:

Diabetes- Obesity- Liver Disease

Make no mistake- HFCS is not a healthy food! I would even argue that it isn't a food at all.

If you want to understand more about HFCS, the following are great sources:

Dr. Andrew Weil

Dr. Joseph Mercola

Dr. Christine Gonzalez

Grown Up Tantrums

Have you ever thrown a tantrum? As an adult? Until recently, I would have answered no. But something was going on with me that I couldn't explain and it occurred to me that maybe a tantrum wasn't a bad name for it.

What is a tantrum? By most definitions it is a fit of bad temper. And by some it is abrupt and violent. Ok, not much violence going on with me (thankfully :). But I have had a bad mood of sorts stewing about something and a grand resistance to doing anything about it for going on three months.

So what is this fit about? Well, for me, right now it is about my weight. My WEIGHT? Did we hear that right? My WEIGHT? What? I'm a health counselor. I'm supposed to have this all together, right?

I'd like to share something I have learned in a very personal way recently. When something in your life is out of balance, it frequently shows itself most clearly in your weakest link. For me, the area to always show a lack of balance first is my weight.

It didn't take me long to notice the extra five pounds. What took me a few months to really understand was my lack of motivation to really do something about it. Until I realized that my imbalance was precisely in the area of "doing". As in, doing too much. So, naturally my reaction to this imbalance was to simply do nothing about it. Unfortunately, that did not make my weight magically readjust itself back to normal (what is normal, anyway?).

So back to my "tantrum". I have really been having a silent "fit" of sorts against the imbalance I brought on by adding so much to my plate in the past year. The fit has manifested itself in too much ice cream and too little exercise (hence the five pounds) but that is just the downside. The upside is that my need to slow down has also resulted in endless hours of delicious time with my kids and a re-discovered love affair with mommy-hood. Hurray. Also, the kids don't notice the weight. Gotta love them.

Now that I have a clearer understanding of what has been happening with me (thanks to a lot of long talks with my fellow health counselor buddies), I feel a lot more loving towards my self about it and I can really see the need and the benefits for my grown up tantrum.

So I leave you with this thought to consider for yourself- What is your weakest link and how can your honor your own resistance to "fixing it" by recognizing how it might be serving your best interests?

Crunchy Munchy Oatmeal

Crunchy Munchy Oatmeal

I love this because it goes along with my "kitchen sink" approach to nutrition- just throw in as much healthy stuff as you can to start your day yummy and satisfied!

1 cup rolled oats (not instant or quick)- I like Bob's Red Mill
2 cups water
Dash of sea salt
Agave or Raw Honey
Splash of Rice Milk (or Almond Milk, Soy Milk or Cow's Milk)
Crunchy Munchy stuff that you love- my favorites- organic raw shredded coconut, walnuts, raw sunflower seeds, dried cranberries or raisins

Bring water to boil in a small saucepan. Add in the oatmeal and salt and stir. Reduce heat to low and simmer about 15 minutes, stirring occasionally until water is absorbed and oatmeal is soft. Sweeten with a little agave or honey. Add a splash of your favorite milk and then throw in all the good crunchy munchy stuff that you like. Enjoy!

Self-care and Home-care

I have a confession to make...I am a closet homemaker. One of my favorite books of all time is Home Comforts, The Art and Science of Keeping House by Cheryl Mendelson. There is something so incredibly satisfying and comforting about living in a space that feels comfortable and beautiful to you and that works well for your life.

But I recently realized that what was causing me a great deal of stress these days in that my home was no longer working well for my life. My life has changed so dramatically over the past year with returning to school and changing careers and I didn't make time to stop and re-organize my surroundings to match the life we are now living in our home.

Suddenly it hit me that I needed to make some changes....now! So I have been on an organizing kick this week and it feels wonderful. One of my favorite tasks has been realizing that I can't stand the amount of space that gets taken up by CDs and DVDs. So I am recycling all the cases and moving all of my media into binders. I found some beautiful binders at Russell and Hazel ans CD binders at IKEA, a great online store with a tagline I love- Add life to your work.

I also finally bought a book shelf to house the dozens of new books that returning to school has brought into my life and I am inspired to bring back an old tradition called the Homekeeping Notebook. I found a great blog about it which you can check out here.

I admit, I have neglected a few workouts and I have cooked a little less than usual this week but, for right now, I recognize that my self-care is my home-care. And I know once I complete some of this and feel happier in the space we are living in, my energy will shift back into other areas of my self-care. It is all about balance, right?

Food Focus: Greens

Leafy greens are some of the easiest and most beneficial vegetables to incorporate into your daily routine. Densely packed with energy and nutrients, they grow upward to the sky, absorbing the sun’s light while producing oxygen. Members of this royal green family include kale, collard greens, swiss chard, mustard greens, arugula, dandelion greens, broccoli rabe, watercress, beet greens, bok choy, napa cabbage, green cabbage, spinach and broccoli.

How do greens benefit our bodies? They are very high in calcium, magnesium, iron, potassium, phosphorous and zinc, and are a powerhouse for vitamins A, C, E and K. They are crammed full of fiber, folic acid, chlorophyll and many other micronutrients and phytochemicals. Their color is associated with spring, which is a time of renewal and refreshing, vital energy. In traditional Asian medicine, the color green is related to the liver, emotional stability and creativity. Greens aid in purifying the blood, strengthening the immune system, improving liver, gall bladder and kidney function, fighting depression, clearing congestion, improving circulation and keeping your skin clear and blemish free.

Leafy greens are the vegetables most missing from the American diet, and many of us never learned how to prepare them. Start with a simple recipe such this one or this one. Then each time you go to the market, pick up a new green to try. Soon you’ll find your favorite greens and wonder how you ever lived without them.

For more about greens, get this great book Greens Glorious Greens

Adapted with permission from Integrative Nutrition.

Shiitake and Kale

Prep Time: 2 minutes
Cooking Time: 10 minutes
Yield: 4 servings

Ingredients:
1/2 pound shiitake mushrooms
1 tablespoons olive oil
1-2 cloves crushed garlic
1 bunch kale, chopped
pinch of salt


Directions:
1. Warm oil in pan on medium heat with minced garlic until aromas of garlic are released, about 2-3 minutes.
2. Add chopped shiitake mushrooms, stir-fry for 5 minutes.
3. Add chopped kale, stir-fry for a couple of minutes.
4. Add a splash of water and pinch of salt to pan, cover and let steam for 4 minutes.


Used with permission from Integrative Nutrition.